iChanged
by emilywkd76
Summary: Returning to Seattle three years after her mom dies of cancer, Sam has a lot of explaining to do, time to make up for and secrets to spill. Will anyone listen? Rated "T" just in case, eventual Seddie, maybe Creddie at points. Slightly OOC characters.
1. iRealise

**A/N - I got this idea while talking about fanfiction with one of my friends (Miss-Beann - author of "The Captive" - a successful Twilight fanfic author, of works such as "The Captive" - you should check it out!). The idea skirted around Sam's frequently mentioned need for money but in the end I've decided to adapt this due to her mother's invented medical condition. As a result of this, some of them may appear to be OOC at some points. The flashbacks are happening around the time of "iOwe You" and any episodes after that particular episode haven't happened in my story, so it's also sort of AU. Review, comments and idea's are always appreciated (:**

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iChanged

I can still remember the first time I realised that I, Sam Puckett, was considerably less well off than people like the Bensons and the Shay's, medical bills ate up any cash earned by my sick mother, which given that she was a cleaner, earned us even less than I had at "Chilli My Bowl". As a result of our low income, mom's medical treatment was withdrawn, well that and the fact that the Cancer had spread.

It was a Tuesday when my constant "borrowing" of money was too much for Frednub and a slightly more understanding yet still exasperated Carly Shay, to both their credit, neither of them knew of our financial situation, and my constant facade of being hungry covered up where their money was really going. It took five minutes for to swipe the exaggerated sum of cash from Fredward's hand (he was right, it didn't cost $30 to get to school from home – even after stopping for a burrito), pay Chester (my regular ride since mom had decided to "loan" the car aka was too sick to drive) the $12.50 I owed, and pocket the rest of the change. I came back to hear Benson bitching about someone – fine, I admit, I knew it was me – always hitting on him and Carly for cash.

I knew in that second that they'd never understand.

_When I found out about the total amount I owed my two friends my stomach dropped, there could be no way that I had "borrowed" $526! How would I earn enough to pay them back?  
Fredward then prattled on about how much I'd "borrowed", the dates I'd borrowed it on, he had even estimated the exact timing of my requests. In case he hadn't proved just how geeky he really was, he'd produced a graph with a squiggly red line progressively rising which I assumed represented my "borrowing" increasing. The whole time they were standing there, I felt a certain expectation for me to just start crapping money. In retaliation, I slammed the lid of his poxy laptop crushing the "track-pad" finger and fished through my pockets in a futile manner, knowing the chances of me finding myself suddenly in possession of $526 were slim-to-none. Heck, $1 would have been a miracle. Impulsively that night, I had practically begged the viewers of iCarly to send me money, any sense of pride I'd had before had long since disappeared with my mom's declining medical attention, and finding myself, a fifteen year-old, in debt of $526. _

_I remember Fredweird coming up to me after one horrendously long morning of Algebra then English with a look of worry and frustration upon his plain face, his eyes were darting round, scanning the halls which stopped when he found me. _

"_Sam, Principal Franklin wants you - __**now**__!" Bugger._

"_Oh man," suddenly, I had an idea, "Freddie, find Carly; tell her to meet me at Franklin's office in two minutes."_

"_What'd you __**do**__?"_

"_I dunno, but he always goes easier on me when Carly's around, reminds him I'm not all bad." Ergh, and reminds him that Carly's all good.  
Don't get me wrong, I love Carlotta, but when's she gonna do something bad? _

There are three things that I don't like to talk about with anyone because to do that would prove that I have some sort of emotional side.  
Number one is my mom's death; her illness was private so why would her no longer being here change that? Even three years later, Carly, Fredweird and Spencer still don't know.  
Number two is what happened to me after she died, why I left Ridgeway High and what happened to make me come back.  
Number three is Freddie and how I realised that I'd fallen in love with him.

Sometimes I wonder if Carly had ever gotten the message because after ten minutes of waiting outside Ted's office, she never showed.  
Maybe if she had, I'd have one less thing I don't like to talk about.

**

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****A/N To be continued...**  
**Oh, and flashbacks are her remembering what happened after she realised that Carly and Freddie would never understand, and then when it stops being italics, she is talking about how she feels presently. She's currently 18.**  
**Hope that was okay for a first chapter, please feel free to review (:**

**xXx**


	2. iStop Waiting

Chapter 2

_**36 Months Earlier**__**- January 26**__**th**__** (2007)**__  
(Carly's POV)_

I've been waiting by the lockers for Sam to get here so we can go to lunch for five minutes now; ironically she's late to the only part of the day she actually enjoys. I love her to pieces but if she doesn't take more of an interest in school, she'll be kept back a year.

It's been twenty minutes now and I'm slightly worried; Gibby, Jeremy _and _Jake (eek!) have walked past and I know for a fact that the first two are in Sam's history class so I asked them if she was still in there. Jeremy looked around feverishly at the sound of her name and can't say I blame him, "Texas Wedgies" from Sam Puckett stay with you for life, at least that's what Freddie's told me.

Speaking of, here he comes now.  
Wait, here he _runs_ now.

"CARLY! She's gone! Sam's gone, I was supposed to tell you to go to Franklin's office but I forgot when I couldn't fin-"

"Whoa, Freddie, slow down!" I interrupted, leaving him standing there panting heavily.

Part of what he'd just said had started to process itself in my head, "WAIT! What d'ya mean 'Sam's gone'?" I remember yelling at him.

"Check your phone." He had instructed monotonously.

I pulled out the new and updated model of the iPhone that Spencer had gotten me for Christmas, my hand shaking as I turned it on. Time seemed to slow as that sucky power symbol came on and I waited for the screen to load up properly.

Sure enough, about a minute after I turned the screen on, an alert appeared, "**One New Message**" I clicked the "**Read**" button and her number was the first thing it showed. I had heard Freddie right, it was from Sam:

**"Carlotta, Fredward.**  
**Gonna be out of town for a while.**  
**Sorry to leave ya hanging in bio Carls but not sure if momma's coming back this year.**  
**Stay stalking Freddork.**  
**S."**

I remember my eyes having filled up with tears as I had shoved my phone back in my bag.  
Silently Freddie and I had walked into the crowded cafeteria, which despite the raucous and obnoxious behaviour of everyone in the hall left me feeling more alone than ever.

It had been a week before anyone was brave enough to ask about her, Wendy being the nosy busybody she was had come up to us at lunch one day and asked after her. Exhausted for lack of sleep through worrying, I had snapped at her, "I'm sure if she thought it was any of your business, you'd get a text Wendy." That was the last time anyone but Freddie had mentioned Sam to me as my depression took hold; the technical producer noticed said depression, and even had the nerve to suggest counselling despite declining psychoanalysis himself.

_**30 Months Earlier – July (2007)**_

I was irritable for the next sixth months, on constant alert by my mobile as I waited for the monthly text we received, claiming that she was still alive and was unsure about when she'd be back. Every time I read that word "unsure" I cried a little harder and eventually this sadness turned to incredible anger.

After those awful sixth months, I had resigned myself to the fact that I'd have to start sophomore year alone, Freddie no longer counted as a friend. There was no Freddie without Sam, and the only time I saw him was during the lunches he didn't have AV club and the days that I could tolerate him. In those other lunch periods I made friends with Brooke (a ferocious redhead) and her clan. Secretly I despised the lot of them, all no-good law breakers whose sole aim was to make every weekend a party and damage their livers by the time they had finished junior year, how they possessed the liqueur still remains a mystery to me.

_**24 Months Earlier – January (2008)**_

Although I never truly forgot about Sam, a year passed since I'd last seen her and I became less dependent on the monthly texts, in fact, I'm ashamed to say that I stopped looking for them at all. Fredward still lived across the hall with his crazy mother but we rarely bumped into each other. Since we'd cancelled iCarly two months after her disappearance, the need for him to come over was cancelled as well. When Sam left it had hit him harder than I thought it would, although I still remember his incessant need for her to tell him that he was just as important to "iCarly" as Sam and I had been. His smile when she'd told him what he needed to hear, and their hug had proved to both me and Freddie that Sam really _did_ consider him a friend; despite the physical abuse.

It was a Tuesday in January 2008; a few weeks before we went on February half term break that I bumped into him for the first time since Christmas, he had a slightly worried expression on his face which turned indifferent at the sight of me. I felt like he saw right through me. After I'd turned away to walk to English, he addressed me, his voice slightly deeper than I had remembered.

"Have you heard from her yet?" No question on how I was doing, everything between us had become about _her. _I resented that. It did occur to me then however, that I'd completely forgotten to check my phone. I tried to figure out the date.

My confusion must have been evident because the next thing he said answered my silent question.

"It's the twenty-seventh."

"Oh." It became apparent then that neither of us had received our text of reassurance though I'd long since stopped checking mine.

"She always texts us on the twenty-sixth, the date she left." His expression changed as he considered what her absence of text could mean, I could tell he was working himself into a mental state through his constantly changing expression. His next statement silenced any attempt I was about to make to reassure him.

"You stopped waiting for them."

"Yes." I whispered quietly, so quietly that I hoped he hadn't heard me, but he had and was visibly fuming.

"You ought to be ashamed of yourself; she's your best friend. She disappears almost without a trace and you're acting like you don't give a flying fuck!" I flinched, unable to recall ever hearing Freddie curse.

I recovered quickly enough to shout, "Oh you're a fine one to talk Benson! It's your fault she left! If you'd given me the message about Franklin's office we wouldn't even be here to begin with."

"It's been 366 days since she disappeared, in that time she's sent us precisely eleven texts, each and every one on the twenty-sixth of every month except yesterday, yet you don't even know the fucking date anymore! I'm worried Carly but I can see you're far too busy with Brooke Harveys and Co. Just forget it." He stormed off, his nerdy shoes making loud smacking noises against the floor as he joined Gibby and Jeremy by their lockers. Just then I felt a buzz in my pocket and looking at my phone, I found a new message waiting to be read, claiming to come from "**Sam**". Without opening it, I deleted it; no desire to read what she had to say right now.

_**6 Months Before**_

I haven't spoken to Fredward since January 27th 2008; it's now July 27th 2009.  
It's been sixth months since I last got a text from _her._

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(Freddie's POV)

_**24 Months Earlier – January (2008)**_

My phone vibrated in my hand as I stared down at it, still fuming with Carly for acting like such a stone cold bitch, the display notified me that I'd been sent a message.

Without hesitation, I opened the text from Sam, it read:

"**Carlotta, Fredward."** I hate that my name is always second, like I'm an afterthought.  
**"Sorry the text is late, got a lot on my plate right now. Looks like I won't make it down for junior year after all, maybe when we're seniors.  
Have a good 'un.  
Not sure when the next text is coming.**

**Stay stalking Freddork.  
S."**

Without a glance at Carly to see if she'd gotten the text, I threw my bag into my locker and walked home. I knew that it'd be safer not to be within punching distance of Carly for a while.

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**A/N: I know the timing is a little confusing but the gaps in time will be filled and we will find out what Freddie was getting up to in the three years that Sam was away, and what happened after Freddie and Carly stopped talking in Carly's life. We'll also eventually find out what happened to Sam aaaand what happens when she returns to Seattle! Oh and I know the years don't add up to Dan's show, but I'm going to be 18 this year (2010) so I just used my age as their generation because it's easier for me to work out the dates. I'm also British so I'm sorry if I don't get the schooling system right! And if you think I've spelt something wrong.**

**Thankyou for my lovely reviews :) Hope you're satisfied with this update!**

**xXx**


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